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Sep 18 2011

Waspman Origins

Yesterday I went to Alton Towers as part of a family 40th birthday celebration.

Whilst in the queue for tickets (yes that's right... before I even got in to the theme park) I got stung by a wasp, a wabbie, a jasper, a b*stard. Right in the soft fleshy* bit of the crook of my arm, it hurt but that is why they call it a sting so no surprises there.

What is a surprise is that I have woken up with a superhuman interest in black and yellow stripey jumpers, I'm now addicted to fizzy drinks and my neighbour just used a newspaper to try and waft me away from hanging around his bins! Admittedly this is a far cry from the cooler superhero special powers but please don't rule me out just yet - I don't know how to use these new powers properly yet, so watch this space!

As a small aside, yet still wasp related, the sting could be a 'revenge hit' by a wronged wasp faction for a crime I committed several years ago. On one of my first trips to Alton Towers I ate half a wasp that had crawled into my cheese sandwich. There were two clues I had eaten half a wasp, firstly the other half was still in the sandwich in my hand and secondly even as a small kid I knew that cheese classically is not meant to be crunchy!

*if any ladies are reading this I meant to write the tanned, sinewy bit of my 'hewn from oak' massive, toned arms.

It has been 15 years at least since I went to Alton Towers, the last time was with some good friends from university. I'm pleased to say it looks like either part of the old Corkscrew or maybe the Black Hole is now a bit of artwork or a museum piece as soon as you get in the park. As much as I loved the Corkscrew I would have been dubious about riding a roller-coaster that is almost the same age as myself!

According to the age old code that is adhered to by all superheroes and super villains, I can't in good conscience upload a photo of myself as my alter ego 'Waspman' but I do need to somehow wrangle this blog post back into something about Scandango or why the heck have you wasted time reading all this nonsense? So.... um...

Here's a photo of my friends and I enjoying ourselves at Alton Towers over 15 years ago. 

This memory was brought to you by the power of Scandango
El Mono

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